Procrastination In 10 Easy Steps

I’m a writer, so my job requires sitting down at the computer and putting words onto the screen. It used to be called words on paper, but word processors make some older expressions obsolete. I’m procrastinating, of course, but that’s the point of this little essay. It can be hard to actually get around to doing the work, and there are innumerable ways to get around doing so. Let’s start with the beginning of the day

  1. Of course, the cats (dogs, birds, horses, whatever) have to be fed. Can’t let the critters go hungry.
  2. Must have coffee to get going. But first, the coffee pot has to be cleaned because you didn’t do it last night.
  3. Breakfast. Can’t start work without food in your stomach. Think of something unusual and time-consuming to try out. How about eggs Florentine? That takes time to do.
  4. Dishes. First unload the dishwasher because you didn’t do it yesterday, and then stack the newly dirty dishes in it. That’s another reason for a fancy breakfast that takes a bunch of pots and bowls to put together.
  5. All right. Now what? Must go out and take a look at the flower borders to see whether the crocuses (daffs, tulips, irises, roses) are in bloom yet. Note that the things growing best are the weeds. Hate pulling weeds, but it’s a good diversion.
  6. Tired? Sit and read the newspaper if you haven’t gotten so disgusted with it that you don’t take it anymore. If no paper, read a chapter of that new book you just started. Must read a lot to know what other writers are writing. This can be put down as working on your own writing (and it can also be tax-deductible if you bought the book).
  7. Remember that you need to wash a load of dark coloured clothes. While the washer is going, put away the whites you washed yesterday.
  8. Must call the friend you owe a call. Talk for at least an hour.
  9. Exercise. Very important to do something active. Get out the bike and go for a spin.
  10. Forgot to take your morning dose of medicine (vitamins, minerals, whatever.) Do it now.

There! I’ve given you ten ways to avoid sitting down at the computer. So now you have to finally do it. But you’re so tired now from all the work you’ve done that first you really need to take a nap.


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